Hello Fellow Deviants!  Thought I'd write a journal entry to catch ya'll up on what is up with me lately, and why I haven't been active here in quite some time now.  My health is crap, I have multiple painful symptoms that have gone on for years but is just getting worse.  In the past, I'd get a flare up of symptoms that would leave me bed ridden for a couple weeks to several months.  Now I've been sick for a year continuously, and am FINALLY this month seeing different Specialists, getting several lab tests done, and my symptoms are finally being considered as having a possibility of being systemic, connected with each other.  Where it stems from is what is being investigated at the moment.  As we weed through the lab tests we are excluding certain systemic diseases and disorders to find out what it is NOT,  which will hopefully lead to what it IS so I can be properly treated.  I am in chronic severe pain daily, and no amount of Ibuprofen, Tylenol, or even stronger pain meds like Hydrocodone and Oxycodone are not touching the breakthrough pain.  I was finally referred to a Pain Management Clinic, just to find out that they are no longer taking patients with my insurance, so it's going to be another month or so before I can possibly get accepted into another one, then it will take a couple more weeks after that for the initial consult appointment.  My Art has fallen to the wayside due to all that's been going on, and basically my brain has become Swiss-Cheesed by the constant severe pain that never abates and the anxiety of so much going on at once.  I don't multi-task well, lol, and I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in months.  My psychiatrist ordered a prescription for Sonata, sleeping pills, this week for me but it will take a week or two before I receive it due to the asinine HMO/State Health Insurance policy that requires a "pre-authorization" for certain medications that the doctor has prescribed.  I am very frustrated with the state of our Healthcare system for the Poor and/or Disabled here in California in the good 'ole U.S.A., but am grateful that I DO have any kind of insurance at all.  At least I'm now being taken care of.  It's taken 4 years to get to this point of investigating with Specialists the reason for my chronic painful ailments, and for that I am grateful.  I'm just frazzled with living with these symptoms and not knowing the cause nor having any relief from the constant aggravating pain that grates on my nerves.  I do not have the energy to do any Art projects, which is probably the most depressing part of all of this.  My Art is what was keeping me sane.  I do have ideas for when I have more energy to set up, work on, and clean up paintings, but I lack the energy necessary to do all of this.  I barely have the energy to get to all my appointments and pick my son up from school every day.  So if anyone is wondering why I've fallen behind on dA with uploading new deviations and taking care of my group called Bipolar-Artists and being an admin for Bipolar-DA, this is why.  I am hoping with all my heart that answers and a successful treatment will be found soon, so I may resume "living" again!  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired; I feel like I've been resting my bum on the bench on the sidelines way too long in this Game of Life.